“I wanted to die to end the suffering”

Mariano M. still remembers the oppression he felt when he lay in his bed at night and only had a dark feeling: “You want to die.” Mariano M. is a betting addict who is currently in recovery, who is encouraged to tell his nightmare to warn about the danger of these games that are proliferating today and are promoted day and night on TV and social networks by journalists and/or or influencers.

“I come from a very beautiful childhood, from a family where everything worked normally, nothing strange happened. All my life I liked numbers. When I was a boy I started a business, it started to do very well for me and to handle money. All kinds of bets began to attract me and there I entered a path where I always said that I could handle it -he sighs deeply and long-, each time the bets became bigger, each time I dedicated more time to it and I was becoming a professional in lies to keep playing. I came to lose the will to live, because this disease takes everything from you, you don’t see what’s around you and all you want is to gamble. I played for 25 years ”, this 44-year-old from Rio Cuarto begins to narrate to PROFILE CÓRDOBA who asks that we not publish his last name or his image, out of respect for his family and his brothers from Players Anonymous.

This is his personal story, he asks that this be clarified: each person has their own process. In the dialogue it is noted that he wants to tell, but that it is not easy to take courage. Mariano M. relates: “I had five lost pregnancies with my wife and every time something went wrong I went to the game, but that was an excuse, because when something went right, I also went to the game. I can’t say why I played, maybe because I liked it. Little by little you are losing meaning to life, everything takes you inside. And he continues: “90 percent of what I played was with money that I generated just to play. I was doing well, but then when it dropped a bit, I wanted to play longer. The disease is progressive. I came to steal money from my wife. ‘Gamblers Anonymous’ just arrived, because I have no doubt that the path he followed was to steal from someone else. This is the story of this disease, I do not apologize for what I did, but this disease does not let you see. You can do any kind of crazy thing.”

He says that he stopped for a while, but that it was a process. “My wife took care of me, my own city took care of me, I couldn’t go to the casino, because there was no longer a lie to hold. So online gaming was great because I had a 24-hour casino in my house. It was a mess in no time. I came to be driving in the car and betting at the same time or locked myself in the bathroom for a whole night, lying that I was sick, but I was gambling ”, he laments.

Then, Mariano M. takes strength, sighs, and admits: “I say that I did not want to kill myself, but many times I dreamed of the fact of death. I wanted to die. For me, dying meant putting an end to that suffering a bit.” And then he confesses: “Many times I returned from the casino, driving on the highway and thought about throwing myself under a truck. Thank God I didn’t, I would have blown up my whole family. But the player’s head is very difficult, because he thinks about the quick exit to stop suffering ”.

“Just for today”. Gambling is a psychological disorder recognized by the World Health Organization. “This is a disease that has no cure. We work for 24 hours, ‘Only for today’, that’s how the Gamblers Anonymous Program works. In my case, I tried private institutions, psychologists, psychiatrists, but what led me was listening to another person who had experienced the same thing as me. It worked as a mirror, ”he says.

A recent survey carried out by Playtech took data from more than 2,500 players from Argentina, Brazil, Colombia, Peru and Chile, and said that 84 percent of Argentines who participated in online betting platforms never received a warning about their behavior and the possible risks of generating an addiction.

Mariano M. understood that he was sick, that he was not alone. He still remembers those dark days with some anguish. But today his life has color. At the beginning of the talk, his voice was slow, as if with fear, but as the minutes passed, he let go. And he ended with another similar one, because this story is going through a chapter of smiles. “Thank God I didn’t lose my family. One year and 10 months ago, just this week, I joined Gamblers Anonymous. You gave me back the will to live. And four months ago my life changed radically, just for today, because I have a four-month-old baby… they saved my life.”
he says excited and with a broken voice.

GAMBLING PATH. This addiction is a disease that can be controlled with special treatment. Concern over online gambling is growing.

THE RISKS THAT NO ONE SAYS
In Argentina, according to a report from the Buenos Aires Province Ombudsman’s Office, seven out of 100 people are gamblers and as many are recovering compulsive gamblers. “In Córdoba we have two open groups of Gamblers Anonymous, we are about 50 brothers in recovery”, explained Mariano, and said: “The program is clear, ‘the game takes us to jail, madness or death, as long as when we’re not in recovery.’ I can attest to that, from many acquaintances or siblings who have relapsed. Addicted people lose their sanity until we enter recovery, ”said Mariano M., who lamented that the official sponsor of the River shirt, a team of which he is a fan, is Codere –online betting–. And search: “This type of bets are coming with everything, this problem is already in any small town in the country.”

• PLAYERS ANONYMOUS
• The association has been operating in Argentina since 1985, and currently has a presence in almost the entire country.
• The next annual meeting will be held over the weekend in the city of Villa Carlos Paz.
• For more information you can consult jugadoresanonymos.org.ar